Sleepless in L A
by lissianne
Summary: This is my first fan fiction. Special thanks to Melinda for holding my hand through this. I own nothing of Major Crimes. I just let the characters in my head out to dance across the screen from time to time. **Sometimes you have to know where you've been to know where you're going.**


Sharon unlocked the door to her condo and quietly crept inside. It had been an exceptionally difficult day. She was exhausted, but sleep would not come easily tonight. There were nights when like her favorite sweater, the darkness brought her comfort. Other times it would unleash the demons of the past that would haunt her until dawn. Tonight it would be the latter.

She grabbed a glass of wine and slipped into her nightgown. She closed her eyes tightly and shook her head, she had run into Jack today. It was to be expected, but it was never easy. He looked good... exceptionally good... too good to be exact. He was doing well at a prestigious law firm, but still remained on the court appointed attorneys list. He had been civil since the divorce, but today he seemed different. Nice, considerate and thoughtful she smirked to herself. She would have never imagined using those words and Jack in the same sentence. He had asked her to lunch, she had almost accepted, almost. Having made some excuse about needing to do paperwork, Sharon was angry with herself for nearly being sucked in by his charm once again. One thing about Jack Raydor, he had not lost any of his charm over the years. She had just become wiser to it.

Things had been good in the beginning. Their brains, looks, ambition and passion would have made them the ultimate power couple. Partners in life, partners in law and partners in love. She joined the LAPD to help pay his way through law school and then once he was established he would pay for hers. She sometimes ached for the day that never came. Sharon came to love her job and Jack came to resent it.

The first time he left was shortly after Emily was born. He didn't so much leave, as he just didn't come home. She panicked. She was sure something horrible had happened to him. She came home the next day to find him on the couch watching television as if nothing had happened. He was overwhelmed. He was sorry. He would never do it again, until the next time. Over the years it happened more often and for longer periods of time. Sharon never knew when she would come home to an empty house and a note on the table.

The final time came when Ricky, their youngest was about 5. Jack came home smelling of cheap perfume and alcohol. She demanded an answer. He was quick to lay blame on her. "So I haven't just lost you to booze and gambling, there's another woman now too?" She felt that sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"It didn't mean anything... It just happened... things got out of control. We were drinking… it was an accident."

"Falling down a flight of stairs is an accident. You didn't just trip and fall into some strange woman's vagina... that took a little effort."

"Everything with you takes effort," he snarled. "Always working, busy with the kids, always an excuse."

"Well someone has to pay the bills and care for OUR children!" she retorted.

"Oh yes, Sharon, you are the patron Saint of Rules and Responsibility!"

"So it is too much to ask that you care about your family?" She asked with just a hint of sadness coming through the anger.

"It wouldn't matter what I did. I'd never live up to your almighty expectations."

With a shaky but defiant voice she uttered the two words that changed everything…"I'm done."

The next day she filed for a legal separation. She couldn't bring herself to file for divorce, not yet anyway. There were her religious reasons, professional reasons and reasons her heart couldn't explain. She had always believed in 'til death do us part and had felt like making that happen on more occasions that she could count.

Sharon transferred to Internal Affairs. She would be hated, but it was safer than being shot at on a daily basis. The children needed at least one parent alive and present. She took a long sip of wine and rubbed her forehead. She realized that most of her life choices had been for the good of her family. She would do anything for her children including the child of her heart, Rusty.

Life had turned out all right. Just not the life she had planned. It was long overdue that she began a new chapter in her life. Sharon wondered if that chapter would include Andy Flynn. They were good friends but at times her mind would drift to the possibility of something more. She was well aware that she was not Andy's typical type. He went for the young leggy blondes. The ones that had cute names like the ones you would get if you took the What's your Stripper Name quiz on Facebook. Sharon had once remarked to Andrea that his last one may have had two brain cells and she was pretty sure they didn't work simultaneously. That had brought an eye roll and a good laugh.

She looked at the clock and fought back the tears. It was 2:20am. Feeling this way was something she rarely tolerated. However tonight unlimited wallowing would be allowed. Tomorrow when the dawn comes, she will tuck it all away and wear her scars as proudly as she does her badge.

Her phone was buzzing on the nightstand. It was a text message. She didn't want to be rolled out on a homicide in her current state of mind.

It read, "they say if you can't sleep it is because you are awake in some one else's dream.

Is it true, Sharon? Are you awake?"

She wiped her eyes and smiled as she hit the call button "I haven't slept all night. So Andy, tell me about these dreams."

~~~~~~~The end~~~~~~~~~~


End file.
